So after being tempted by hours of watching your favourite reality dance programme, ‘So-you-think- you-can-strictly-got- to-live-to-dance-with-stars’ you find yourself in a dance studio, many comfort zones away from the sofa and television where you normally get your weekly dose of dance. Whatever style you’ve been drawn to from African dance to Zumba or the myriad of styles in between, there can be various hurdles for the beginner to jeté over before even stepping into class. For example the eternal question of what to wear, Leg warmers? Tutu? Foot thong?
You may also find yourself intimidated by the never ending chorus line of lithe semi-naked figures bouncing around the changing room. And once you’ve successfully navigated your way out of there after being flashed gratuitous views of various waxing and waning moons , there are bodies contorting themselves into incoherent positions in the corridor before the class has even begun. What? And so as not to feel completely useless and to try and blend in, you stretch.
Classic stretches of the uninitiated are the arm swings round and round, and rib twists with elbows out to the side poised for the chicken dance. But bending over to attempt touching your toes seems much too primary school PE lesson when the girl on the floor is in full frontal split making forehead to ankle contact. So you’re left sweating and confused before class has even begun.
I sit writing this with a sprained shoulder probably as a result of some overzealous tripping the light fantastic sans warming up and stretching. So it’s back to the sofa for me, all the while anxious to hotfoot it back to class and pretend I know what I’m doing again.
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